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noender
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PostSubject: Chuck Norris...   Fri Oct 08, 2010 11:35 pm

Este topic son para puros chistes de chuck norris, nomas tres ala ves para dejar chansa alo demas Beat Smile

- Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.


- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.


- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

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Chubaka
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Sat Oct 09, 2010 6:46 am

Chuck Norris doesn't eat nails for breakfast, he eats hammers.

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mauroe
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Sat Oct 09, 2010 11:33 am

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

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mauroe
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Sat Oct 09, 2010 12:01 pm

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
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ChrisEvo9
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Sat Oct 09, 2010 4:16 pm

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants

Chuck Norris put out a forest fire. using only gasoline

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn. He just stands there and dares the grass to grow.

Chuck Norris can dry clothes underwater

Chuck Norris can drown a fish

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died

ROTFLMAO ROTFLMAO ROTFLMAO



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nemessis
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Sat Oct 09, 2010 6:36 pm

- Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer.... Too bad he has never cried
- Chuck Norris can speak braille
- Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd... no one fools Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuckle
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mauroe
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Sat Oct 09, 2010 7:13 pm

ChrisEvo9 wrote:

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

ULTRA LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROTLOL
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Debo
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Sat Oct 09, 2010 11:08 pm

NOMAS 3 CRAAAAIG!!!!!!! NOMAS 3!!!!
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seven6ohh_killa
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Wed Oct 13, 2010 4:21 pm

Chuck Norris can build a snow man outa rain!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Wed Oct 13, 2010 4:32 pm

-leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever the fuck he wants..

-chuck norris once visited the virgin islands....now they are , the islands.

-on a highschool math test chuck norris put "violence" as everyone of the answers
and got an A++ because Chuck Norris can solve any problem with violence.

- Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

-chuck norris can slam a revolving door..

-giraffes were invented when chuck norris upper cut a horse.

-if it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken but chuck norris says its beef. ITS FUKIN BEEF!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Wed Oct 13, 2010 4:34 pm

haha one more one more ...
death once had a near chuck norris experience......
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noender
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Wed Oct 13, 2010 5:24 pm

-leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever the fuck he wants..

hahaha ese esta bien mamon

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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:45 pm

Chuck Norris is suing MySpace!!! Why?? Because it's his space!!
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Tue Jan 25, 2011 7:34 am

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris invented water.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

Chuck Norris doesn’t eat. Rather he kicks ass until he’s full.


Playgirl magazine once asked Chuck Norris to appear naked in an issue, Chuck laughed at the opporunity saying “there isn’t enough paper in the world to contain my bearded member”. He then killed the editors simply by unzipping his pants.


Helen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris


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RyaMoto
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Tue Jan 25, 2011 3:28 pm

When Chuck Norris Jumps into a lake Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the water gets "Chuck Norris"
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ARMAZECRETA
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Tue Jan 25, 2011 6:03 pm

jajajaj...

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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Thu Oct 27, 2011 1:43 am

alright people here some for yall

-When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

-Chuck Norris doesn't lie. Whatever he says simply becomes the truth.

-Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

-Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man. That man is now known as Superman.

-The only word that rhymes with "orange" is Chuck Norris.

-There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

-Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

-They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.




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nefarious187
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris...   Thu Oct 27, 2011 2:52 am

Remastered by me, don't be offended....

Rosa Parks was just saving her seat for chuck Norris

While fornicating in the back seat of a semi some of chuck norris's splooge dripped from the females ass into the semi....that semi is now known as optimis prime....remixed by me
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